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Limbo: An Uncertain Time of Waiting

Would you believe me if I told you I have been avoiding this blog? I have been honestly avoiding it since returning from Ghana, there was so much to unpack emotionally and I kept presenting excuses that kept me from doing something that brings me joy. I will provide a little context; writing has always been an outlet for me and prior to declaring and graduating in education, I was determined to dedicate my life to the world of writing in a variety of ways but as I grew older I think I became extremely self conscious of what I was writing because I no longer felt qualified, there was always someone better and I didn't want to fail myself. Hence, why every time, I would self sabotage my writing momentum prior to my theoretical failure hitting. How about that transparency? So much has happened in the world, you and I are both aware of it. Every time I logged onto my blog to write about what was happening, I was faced with my posts and became disappointed that I never kept up with them but that is changing as I am settled into my blue wingback chair, that sits nicely in my studio apartment downtown Milwaukee.

We are faced with a choice at the moment as the world is in limbo and the choices are as follows:

  1. Take action (that means a variety of things based on your person)

  2. Remain unchanged (I don't recommend this one) 

The term limbo is originally used in the religious context as simply a time of waiting and I think that the term fits nicely. You may think that we are back to "normal" as the summer heat settles in and the activities quickly follow, but the fact is we are still in a place of waiting. We are waiting for change, it sounds so cliche but it's an emergency. Let’s be honest, since January the curtain has been pulled back and revealed an abundance of flaws and ways we have failed each other through systems, mindsets, finances, resources, institutes and the list goes on. In order to encourage others to change their actions in this time when the curtain reveals more each day, I need to be doing the same; someone once told me "you cannot give away something you don't have" and I take that with me in many contexts. At the moment that means I can't push others to change actions and take advantage of the limbo without doing it myself. There have been incredible successes over the last few months but I have also gotten in my own way, by preventing myself from tapping into my writing when it was needed most, so here I am taking it back and being loud.  

I started my journey as a Teach for America corp member in June. With that came intense 12+ hour days of synchronous and asynchronous work. You would think that after being on Zoom all day, every day I would figure out the darn app but I still feel just as incompetant as the day I first logged onto my zoom account. During the last day of virtual institute, we were wrapping up our time and steps moving forward. My coach (shout out to Ashley Miller) had us take time to silently reflect and create an intention moving forward. I am one to sit, think and dwell on a prompt or task to make sure I am crafting the words perfectly and I think also with that intention, I craft them to please other people, which is not something I should be doing. I am not kidding when I say that my fingers flew on the keyboard of my laptop, faster than I could even process a whole thought. Subconsciously, I had already created this intention in my mind; I knew I needed to change my approach moving forward and tap back into myself. This is my intention;

I intend to be vulnerable, courageous and true no matter how messy the world is.

Yeah, I am pretty proud of it and it rings even more true because I didn’t create it to please others. I created it so quickly I had no time to even care what others would think about it. Ashley had our intentions sent to a calligrapher in Connecticut and made into decals. Yesterday, I opened my mailbox to see a beautifully decorated envelope. Inside was the intention I had written with a cute handwritten note expressing her gratitude for our business. The moral of the story is; write an intention for yourself moving forward from this day and if you want a great way to remind yourself of the intention you have, make it into a decal. It is so cheap and a great way to support a small business. (Here is her instagram and Etsy shop)

I am trying to bring this intention to life every day because once returning to the United States, though great, I was swept back into society and began to lose parts of myself I had taken time abroad to craft. “Limbo” meaning a waiting period, doesn’t mean you should just be waiting and passively doing nothing until the world falls back to what it was, but instead, using the wait time to push towards something different because what we had before did not work on so many levels.  I will get off my soapbox now and instead provide a few links for you to access, under each link will be a quick description of why it was helpful for me and why you should  dig into it. 

The Death of George Floyd, in Context if you only have a few minutes this article is a reflection of the death of George Floyd with more material and resources at the end of the article.

This is a documentary I am sure you have seen come across your feed as it should; an incredible and daunting look into the United States system of criminalization. It takes a deep dive into tendencies, patterns and flaws of our mass incarceration of Black males. 

The Urgency of Intersectionality Kimberlé Crenshaw talks gender and race bias that front our daily actions as a country. 

Beverly Daniel Tatum dives into the psychology of self segregation and racial identity to give insight into how the behaviors of students in schools are not just limited to the school grounds.  The Daily Podcast is the way I start my mornings, every single day a new podcast is released with incredible guests and insights on issues across the world. 




I appreciate this platform and cannot wait to be digging back into what I love and need to do. Use this time to change and reflect on the state of our world and yourself. As I mentioned the curtain has revealed a series of ways we have failed each other and we are hopefully on a road to changing, this is not a competition of what issue is bigger, we need to be a collective society and push towards human rights and making sure we do not fail each other like we have in the past! A time of uncertainty and waiting is the time we need to reevaluate what has gone wrong and set an intention of what to do next for ourselves and others. Stay safe, healthy and motivated! 

Good morning  from downtown Milwaukee!



 
 
 

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